Wednesday, October 10, 2007

There Is Nothing Like A Brain!

One of my heroes is satirist and song parodist Tom Lehrer. The blog will allow me to indulge my passion for those genres from time to time. So, to the tune of There Is Nothing Like A Dame from Rodgers & Hammerstein's South Pacific, I humbly present: There Is Nothing Like A Brain (this one's for you, George)...

We've got soldiers in Iraq
We've got taps on every phone
We've got guys in secret prisons! We don't make them moan or groan
We've got answers for each wiseass who would cavil or complain!
What don't we got? We don't got brains!

We've got IED's in Baghdad
We get intel! We get dope!
We get secrets from our allies and to Fox News we will lope!
We don't care whose source gets burned! Our allies can go to hell!
What don't we get? We just can't tell!

We've done things that we get into lawsuits for!
What we lack, there just is no substitutes for!

There is nothing like a brain! Nothing in the world!
There's no boner you can name that can't flourish without a brain!

We got soldiers dead and wounded!
No remorse or time for grief!
Every life is bent to serving our deep neocon belief!
When we march into a country, folks ain't grateful like they should!
They bitch and moan! And that ain't good!

Whoever says that we're trading blood for oil
Is in for the ultimate sliming and beatdown for making our blood boil!

There is nothing like a brain! Nothing in the world!
There's no boner you can name that can't flourish without a brain!

Nothing else is quite the same! Nothing in the world!
That could help us to explain. There is nothing quite like a brain!

I said there's nothing (there is nothing)
No, there's nothing (there ain't nothing)
We've found absolutely nothing (there ain't nothing)
No, there's nothing!
That is anything like a brain!

We suppose a brain don't torture, lie to people, break the laws
Or give every other country on the planet pause
It's a waste of time to worry over things that we are not!
We're rich! So who cares what we ain't got?!

There is nothing that you can name that is anything like a brain
Things we do might look insane, but who says we need a brain?
We reach brinks without a brain and no one blinks without a brain
There ain't a thing that's wrong with any land here
That can't be cured by putting it near
A far-seeing, thinking, rational human brain!

3 comments:

Nina Katarina said...

Bravo! Whistles! Holds up lighter!

carolina m said...

And then there were two, woohoo and what Nina said, MacDaffy

MacDaffy said...

Thanks to you both. I had more fun writing this one than I've had in a long time. The sheer suckitude of the Bush administration tends to get one too down to try to be funny.

I saw South Pacific recently and it just rolled in.

Aloha.